My wife and I had our annual Christmas theatre trip on Friday, going to
the Southwark Playhouse to see something called ‘Feathers in the Snow’ by
Philip Ridley. The preview blurb made it look interesting, a tale for all the
family with a dark edge, but ten minutes into the show we knew had made a bad
choice.
It was theatre at its worst; clunky, with a plot that rattled along too
quickly and become very repetitive, and hitting the audience over the head with
a moralistic message that stated the obvious point that war is bad. I could
imagine it being served up in a school hall by a travelling theatre group as
part of an educational programme, but even on that basis it worked badly and it
was way short of the minimum standard I’d expect from anything that gets into a
regular theatre.
But we endured it. It’s partly because we’re both inclined to stick out
a performance of any kind to the end; although we were also conscious that the
young cast were trying very hard to make the best of a bad job. But we were
bored rotten, and by the second half I was wondering if it would be acceptable
to start booing.
I’ve always thought there are occasions when it’s OK voice displeasure
at a bad performance. If you pay good money to sit and watch something you’re
entitled to let those responsible know that you’re disappointed. It happens at
football, when the home team plays badly and their supporters give the players
some verbal stick. It’s part of the blooding for stand-up comedians to get
booed offstage. And a few bands have suffered far worse in being chased off
stage by flying bottles at rock festivals.
I wouldn’t boo during a performance; there’s a chance that some other
members of the audience are enjoying themselves and it wouldn’t be fair to
spoil it for them. But surely it’s OK to abstain from the round of applause at
the end of the show and let loose a bellow of disdain? After all, I had just
forked out £16 to waste two hours that would have been better spent at home on
the sofa.
In the end I didn’t. Maybe I didn’t want to upset the actors. Maybe I
was too polite. Maybe I’ve been conditioned by the idea that booing isn’t something
that you do in a theatre, even if you’ve just been subjected to two hours of
torture by boredom. But for what it’s worth, I can now offer a one word review:
“Boooooooooo!”
Mark
Say's collection of fiction, Perversities of Faith, is available on amazon.co.uk and amazon.com. Also check out www.marksaywriter.com.